tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1663941132319374651.post3965973112423740213..comments2023-06-04T03:58:02.763-04:00Comments on He Said/She Said: He Said: In a Good Mormon Marriage, Who Holds the Trump Card?Bored in Vernalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16930954374449121797noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1663941132319374651.post-21903333933226409602009-07-11T18:31:32.900-04:002009-07-11T18:31:32.900-04:00I agree with you that male domination is probably ...I agree with you that male domination is probably rare in Mormon families. Although, one can occasionally see it.<br /><br />For most women, it's probably much more about choices and options than about daily decision making.<br /><br />For example, I find it troubling that so many female students at BYU do not graduate because they are putting their husbands through school.<br /><br />The other problem is that in some cases, wives cannot expect support from the bishop against abusive husbands. I know about several cases where women who were beaten were told to obey their husbands because supposedly our religion is all about patriarchy.<br /><br />I am sure the bishops meant well and did not appreciate how they exposed the women to danger. I suppose that could be rectified if we trained bishops in marital counseling.Hellmuthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01666302780491649128noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1663941132319374651.post-64918540749607029052009-07-11T18:24:17.045-04:002009-07-11T18:24:17.045-04:00In my opinion, you were right about college. The ...In my opinion, you were right about college. The quality of the education is not even close on the three BYU campuses. Provo is far superior.Hellmuthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01666302780491649128noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1663941132319374651.post-1015021869578046202009-07-11T07:01:14.628-04:002009-07-11T07:01:14.628-04:00Zillah since you think anecdotal evidence is not a...Zillah since you think anecdotal evidence is not an answer show me some scientific data to support a dcotrinal statement made by a mormon general authority or go out and do a sizeable enough survey of who makes the decision in LDS families I have thirty-five years of living in eleven different states and a foreign country and the majority of the men told me the wife controls the relationship and makes the decisions. The classical model doesn't cut it for radical feminists anyway who are more in to the critical or overthrowing the status quo. I'm not saying there aren't any oppressive relationships it cuts both ways some women are just as abusive as men but it is the extremes you are talking about. It is the majority here I am talking about not the minority. The one country I lived in was Saudi Arabia and in the Mormon Church the women dominated to the nth. If we were discussing the Islamic women I would see your point. That you put down ancedotal is a reflection of the same mentality you attack. Having a doctorate I call my model the Bruno Observational Model based on 54 years of talking to hundreds of men.Dr. Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18061544604584544836noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1663941132319374651.post-27619248335620048322009-07-10T17:13:52.757-04:002009-07-10T17:13:52.757-04:00I see a problem in offering anecdotal evidence as ...I see a problem in offering anecdotal evidence as an answer to the question: the way things play out in real life is not (though it often influences and sometimes becomes) the doctrine of the Church. You could take this line of argument, or discussion, into all kinds of places: "the Church says that pornography is bad, but look how many men with temple recommends look at pornography" (obviously a ridicuously extreme example, of course). In this case, the doctrine of the Church "clearly" states that men and owmen are equal and men ultimately make the decision. Many Mormon marriages do not fit the pattern you describe because the husband and wife are trying to follow the Church's teachings.Zillahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17912159028273635271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1663941132319374651.post-68557593006343381282009-07-10T15:20:43.040-04:002009-07-10T15:20:43.040-04:00Dr. B, I usually disagree with pretty much everyth...Dr. B, I usually disagree with pretty much everything you say, but I found myself chuckling through your post and agreeing with you. I'm sure my husband would too. I don't actually have a problem with the church doctrine for exactly the reason you stated - I know my husband just wants to make me happy and I can pretty much guarantee that things will go my way. I can't imagine an instance where I felt strongly about something and my husband would pull the "trump card" and choose something else for our family because to him it just wouldn't be worth it. I am sure that's not the ideal, but that's just how it is. Thanks for the chuckle.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com